Who am I ?

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A mechanical engineer by education. An industrial engineer by profession. A life coach on weekends. A frequent organizer of events that interest the common man. A public speaking coach and speaker by the fortnight. A writer whenever my mind feels like ..

Saturday, March 21, 2009

2009 .. The first one ..

And that blog below had to be my first for 2009 !

I believe in writing of things I have enjoyed doing or feel very strongly about. And although there have been a lot of such things in these past three months, life coaching just brought out the stagnant writer in me.

Cheers
Shrikant

Impact - Awakening of the Big Bear

Prologue

Who am I?
I am Shrikant Kelkar, born April 11, 1985 in Hyderabad, India. I came to Dubai as a 3 month baby, and have been here since. From an early age, I have been fiercely competitive and the hunger to be amongst the best drives me to newer levels of work. I am also, a people person. I like to understand the mentality behind everything that happens in this world.
What is this all about?
A few months ago, I came to know of this thing called “Life-coaching”. As the concept grew on me, I was hooked onto the idea of getting into the process. “Being one” fascinated me.
The next few pages trace my thoughts on those three days, 12 March – 14 March.












Acknowledgement
To the first person I met in the class, Thank you. I associate quite a bit with Aussies in general because I’ve grown up supporting the Australian Cricket team when everybody around me wished for India. Nothing against my country, but that Australian team taught me a lot. And you Mountain Goat, for making me realize what ‘fight’ is all about, thank you.
To the person I had my little A-B Chair session with. For making me realize what I had an inkling of for quite a while. That I had some freaky thing the English language called an ‘Intuition’. And for much more thank you. And of course for showing everyone the Peacock swagger; it was brilliant!
I am a person who gets intrigued by certain people in any group that I meet. It’s somewhat a trigger in me that spots certain types of people. Interesting enough, the three people who intrigued me the most in these three days were also the last three people I met, officially or otherwise. To one of them, the person who I have committed this writing to, thank you. Don’t know if it’s the German connection in me that brought the intrigue here. Oh, I’ve followed many people from Boris Becker to Steffi to Michael Schumacher to the football team and Juergen Klinsmann. I saw a lot of them in you. And your commitment in the end was a very touching and a personal one.
To the Nutty professor who intrigued me. I’ve always been intrigued by people who seem to be cold as first sight. Mostly for the fact that they really are absolutely always the opposite and very warm. Like this nutty professor is. Thank you, for the few words we shared on Dubai and the life we live in this place. And the heart felt good bye.
To the one person, the only person in the group that I was still intimidated by, thank you. Your eyes were always filled with that warmth and love; somewhere even beyond was sternness in them. Thank you for teaching me how one could carry himself/herself so very well. Even as a Pole dancer. We did not share much of an interaction over the three days but I am proud to have shared the classroom with you.
Johan, you were brilliant. No words can describe your style of coaching. Magnificent! Bravo!
And Troy, who intrigued me the most. I felt there was another Troy beneath the ‘Troy’ that we saw. Perhaps a side which appeared only more on a personal level. I don’t know still. Perhaps that tiny coaching session on Day Three was a little glimpse of that. Thank you, for showing us how it’s done. I was amazed at the effectiveness of it all after your little 10 minute session on Day Two.
To all of you
From the bratty rock star to the head of the Hells Angels
For the experience of a life time
Thank you all.

Doubt Ridden
1000 hrs. Thursday the Twelfth.
Hope. Anticipation. Expectation.
The three words resonated in my mind like the bell in the temple. The sound doesn’t really leave you even after you’ve left.
I was perhaps at a stage where I didn’t need this. At a stage where after four painful years of college, and a year plus of my “re-induction” at home, things were now finally getting back together. So why was I heading towards this class which called itself “Life-Coaching”?
Heck, I was only now starting to live a “life”. Stupid things that had plagued me over the past five years were now reduced to the demons of the past. Not too demonic in hindsight because of those lessons. I’d always believed the earlier the lessons in your life came, the better. Little did I know that God would stockpile the nuclear arsenal in my life and give it to me in the form of this small war called “The India Trip”. But that too was now the past. “Gotten over it”, as they say.
I had not won the war. But then no one ever wins a war. Lessons are learnt, and life goes on.
So here I was, with a brilliant job in the recession. In these recessionary times, it was truly “perfect”. Of course in Dubai, everything’s perfect until it all comes crashing down. Still. Finally, I had this feeling that I belonged to a workplace. So here I was with my health in 90% perfect condition. I’ve now come to the conclusion that 95% perfect is as good as a 100 to me. The 10% loss comes with its limitations, but I can live with those. Not too bad. So here I was with a family that I’d missed 4 years. Brought up in Dubai, the four of us were the only family. India was a long way and had its own faces. To me, this was my only family. So why was I heading towards this class which called itself “Life-Coaching”?
I was lost with these thoughts sitting with my laptop when my mother suddenly popped up, pointing to me the clock. I suddenly stood up, aware of the fact that I needed to hurry up. Guess that was one of the beauties of having stayed in Sharjah for so long. You were so bloody aware that even 5 minutes of a delay mattered on those dreaded roads.
It was time.
Decision
1315 hrs. Thursday the Twelfth.
A’ right. This looked the right place. ‘Cuz if my memory served me right, that registration page said what I saw in front of me. Block 12, Knowledge Village. I could feel every step I walked. For a walker who almost ran while he walked, the weight that came with the slow walk was quite unbearable. Perhaps it was the weight of my thoughts that caused the walk anyways.
I sat down on the staircase.

Freaky Friday
0700 hrs. Friday the Thirteenth.
Queasy. Unsure. Intimidated.
The queasy feeling always happened usually when I’d go for an exam. Today, I was a 23 year old in the middle of this course called “Life Coaching” with a bunch of people who’d “done-it-all”.
Yuck! I got out of bed disgusted, for the not the first time, at being as young as I was. If only ..
The clock chimed eight.
On The Drive
0900 hrs. Friday the Thirteenth.
It’d been a nice first day.
Let’s see, there were these two head coaches – T & J – not short for the original Tom and Jerry. Not just as hilarious, and besides they were too nice to each other to be the originals. Well, and so we had one with the golden hair, J ; he could be Viking like if only he’d a big flowing red beard and perhaps a huge belly. And then was the Italian Mafia, T. Seemed like the guy could give the best of villains a run for their money – just too easy on the eyes and too big a guffaw to be a good guy.
Both genuinely brilliant in their own specific ways.
Yet, something just did not feel right.
Sigh. What was I doing throwing all my concepts out of my mind? Life had taught me I was meant to give solutions. Direct people to where I thought best. Cry and laugh - with them. I’d always thought of myself as a leader. How in the god damned world was I supposed to lead if I could not give the answer? To the millions who needed so many answers. Was I then even a leader?
The tires smacked against the curb. I was here.

Awakening
1715 hrs. Friday the Thirteenth.
I swerved too much too soon twice. The Pathfinder stopped on the Jumeirah Road. Threw my slippers back into the car. The tiles on the sidewalk were not that cool; I was just feeling a little too light headed to carry the weight of anything on my feet.
The day had changed me. Talk of impact. Talk of realization. People as I saw them would never be the same. Looking back, a castle of guilt enveloped me for a moment. What had I been doing all these years anyways? I got back in.
I turned on the radio full blast and sped on. Almost ironically, Metallica’s Turn The Page played.
But your thoughts will soon be wandering the way they always do
When youre riding sixteen hours and theres nothing much to do
And you dont feel much like riding, you just wish the trip was through
Here I am - on the road again
There I am - up on the stage
Here I go - playing star again
There I go - turn the page
Perhaps I was going too fast. Self introspection did that to me. It was like the balancing act really, was the speed. But I’d also never felt this good when so many thoughts were rumbling inside.
Home sweet home. There was a need to cleanse the past. To be free. To feel even lighter.
I hit the shower.

Bed Time Fantasies
2200 hrs. Friday the Thirteenth.
1.3 billion people. The audience was said to be larger than that for the FIFA World Cup finals in Brazil a few years back. People were looking for a new direction today. Searching for a new leader. Wanting so many answers. There was an easy way really; just give them what they wanted.
“Thank you T&J”, I muttered.
I cleared my throat, and spoke.
The ping on my laptop sounded like a shrill siren. I turned my thoughts to the PC, away from dream world. Sleep didn’t look to be on the agenda today. Thoughts raced in my mind faster than Kimi Raikonnen’s Ferrari.
The experience was now an empowering one. Gone was the intimidation. For what was I intimidated on anyways?
Titles? They didn’t matter anymore. Beneath the titles were the people with one over-whelming title; a title called ‘emotion’.
Skin Color? Ha ha. This one was interesting. People often talked of the divide between black and white. If only they’d been there today. All of us are single colored; and that’s blood red.
Age? For perhaps the first time in life, I was supremely confident of being 23. Two and Three. Of wanting to be- just 23. Age was just a number so we didn’t lose track of how much time we were wasting doing mundane things for ourselves. Absolutely irrelevant.
I shut down the laptop. It was time to sleep on a high. As if on cue, my little brother switched off the lights and said, “Night bro”.


Mid Night Disruption
0330 hrs. Saturday the Fourteenth.
I confess never to have woken up with a song playing in my head. I woke up with Linkin Park’s Breaking the Habit humming from within.
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
to show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I’m breaking the habit
Tonight
The thought of my dream coming true someday made me smile. I was grateful to this course. Life coaching was for real.
I dozed off again.

Tranquil
0935 hrs. Saturday the Fourteenth.
I was late. Sleep deprived. Yet I felt at peace. Almost as if the smaller things did not even matter. To be truthful, I’d never been as peaceful as I was feeling right now. The Dubai – Sharjah traffic still did get on my nerves though. It had that charm that could press all the wrong buttons in you. Just like that. I screeched to a halt and ran up. I had this face which screamed, “Peace”, and the look would not just leave.
Metamorphosis time again. Time to face the deadly duo of T&J.
Nothing about this was funny anymore.

Conquest
1730 hrs. Saturday the fourteenth.
If the past three days were a war, it surely was worthy of being called a rout. I preferred the word ‘conquest’. A victory of “that thing they called life-coaching” over my self doubt. One of those rare times I was happy to lose.
To put that ‘FAIL’ sticker on my chest and be proud of it.
Life had never taught me simple things like accepting defeat; maybe I had never wanted to learn till this day. That sticker changed everything. I remember walking on the street yesterday in front of Block 12, the bold FAIL sticker on my shirt. Symbolically, I was throwing out the result oriented man in me for a while. It wasn’t bad to be what I always had been, but sometimes I needed to relax. This was just the perfect way to get the monkey off my back and how!
The good byes had been emotional. I have this memory that tends to play back videos just as events took place. Especially good byes. Be it grade 5 and my final bus ride in Sharjah. Or be it Pune and the airport.
Or today leaving Block 12..
With people we’d known for less than 72 hours, the good byes more resembled those of mates who’d been through a boot camp.
Conquest it was, aye aye...

Epilogue
0700 hrs. Thursday the Nineteenth.
First, why is this ‘The Big Bear Story’?
A few days back, I was asked to release the big bear within me. To come out of my cave. This is a big step in that direction. The last time I wrote down something was Grade 10. Eight years back.
As I sit here on my desk completing this, a sense of nostalgia envelopes me. After all, it had all started exactly one week ago. I will forever be indebted to that one class, Fundamentals. Of course there will be courses ahead, and then perhaps more. Life’s direction might just have been altered or perhaps, this was one beautiful step in the direction I already knew of.
Evanescence’s ‘Bring me to life’ plays.
All of this time I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything
Life is here. Life is now.
What’s more important, I’m ready for more of it.



I hope to say one day to the world
I am complete. We are all complete.





: My Dream:
.To touch the lives of at least ONE MILLION people in a positive way.





- I also take this opportunity to thank every person who’s made a difference to my life.
- Thank you for being a beautiful part of my life.